Emotions to the Extreme

My emotions are like a roller coaster.  One minute, I am ecstatic that I understand as much Arabic as I do.  The next moment, I feel my eyes glaze over as I search deep in my mind for a vocabulary word that someone said fifteen sentences ago.  Maybe I’m over my head, but I love the discussions we have in class.  Many times I don’t understand them very well, and sometimes not at all, but what I do understand is that the discussions we are having in class are about topics that truly matter—rights between men and women, the separation of church and state…

For the entire week, I have been debating with myself about whether or not I need to go a level lower and review the chapters I did in Morocco, or stick it out and push myself as I try to comprehend whatever part of the class discussions that I can.  And I wouldn’t feel half so exhausted, I think, if I could at least comprehend the discussions taking place during our language partner sessions.  But Ross and Alice are both awesome (or at least way more comfortable) at conversing in Arabic, so I find I end up just sitting there nodding or staring blankly at them, hoping that a spark of comprehension will suddenly alight in my noggin.  Fortunately, Mohammed engaged in 1-on-1 conversations with each of us for about half an hour before returning to a group setting, and I was open and honest with him (in Arabic, of course) that I don’t understand half the time what they’re saying but that I’m trying to.  We then proceeded to converse about my life and his life, ground which I am comfortable talking about.  I definitely want to push myself on this program, but I’ve come to realize that I will be most successful if I take baby steps; trying to leap across buildings will only leave me bruised and battered, and that is how my mind has been feeling since I got here: on information overload.

It’s about time for me to go meet the rest of my group for our language partner session, but I think I’m going to speak with my Resident Director afterwards and see what she thinks about my situation.  I hate the thought of re-doing the chapters which I studied in Morocco last summer, but at this rate, I’m going to be burnt out before the program’s half-way through.  But I must say, as troubled as I may sound in this post, I really am having a wonderful experience regardless of the level I am in.  I am learning new, important words every day outside of the classroom, too, and the exposure to such a different culture has been incredible.  So don’t worry, friends, I will figure things out! :)